A “prayer” for 2017
“Let there be light”
Yes light enough to expose the human devils impersonating gods and infecting all they come in contact with their filthy books, be they label the filth Bible, Quran, Torah or the moldy old manuscripts that bear them. Let there be light enough to burn the pages of their lies and to sweep them and all their misbegotten children away into the very darkness that spawns them. Let there be light enough to make them all vanish like shadows in the false light of the noon day sun and let the Black Sun, the source of the images, the true light, illuminate a brand new world where the tyranny of Death is naught but a faded memory of a waking nightmare.
Happy New Year from Jack Heart and Orage
“Let there be light”
Yes light enough to expose the human devils impersonating gods and infecting all they come in contact with their filthy books, be they label the filth Bible, Quran, Torah or the moldy old manuscripts that bear them. Let there be light enough to burn the pages of their lies and to sweep them and all their misbegotten children away into the very darkness that spawns them. Let there be light enough to make them all vanish like shadows in the false light of the noon day sun and let the Black Sun, the source of the images, the true light, illuminate a brand new world where the tyranny of Death is naught but a faded memory of a waking nightmare.
Happy New Year from Jack Heart and Orage
My book is
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Those Who Would Arouse Leviathan: Memoir of an
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Smacks you upside the head if you still – after all the evidence we've brought so far – should struggle to release the spell. A cleaner slate, a rebirth coming.
ReplyDeleteThis forlorn world has for thousands of years been the penal colony, the repository for the refuse of the light.
ReplyDeleteWe let authorities feed us narratives used to support those very authorities. We call this news, science, religion. All are mechanisms to close the mind, so the life energy is available for squander.
Today the herding and slaughtering is of epic proportions, Bertrand Russell's dream of idiot masses, offering their lives to the perverted whims of the authorities is all but realized...
The answer, the response, takes but a few different paths. First is immersion, a willing acceptance, a desire or even a hunger to play along, a belief that through betraying one's humanity, and feeding it to the parasitic overlords, that some type of favor and special status is achieved. Here is found a depressing lack of imagination, a veritable tide of animechanical motion, a ceaseless groan and crash unable, unwilling to find depth, perspective, or self worth.
Second is the imposition of reform, of fine tuning the chosen undesirable effects. The crusaders whose self certainty is found in the eyes of others. These secretly conform to the parasitism, to the twisted dysfunctional practices that harvest human potential for the undeserving authorities. Here is imagination placed in service to perversion. Here are better methods of bleeding the host invented. Here are the enablers for the curtailment of vision, the oppressive forgery of reality.
Last is the hardest of options. It requires long and endless suffering, a thankless dedication to what is not acknowledged, an uncompromising adherence to that which offers no reward that can be measured. The mistakes are plentiful. The losses are genuine and heartfelt. The punishment for refusing to feed the parasitism severe.
To those in the first path, deliverance is an after death event, inconceivable, distantly removed.
For the second, theirs is simply more delusion, the result of lives spent in service to illusory power.
To the third, deliverance is the goal, a radical acknowledgement of the climb out of the abyss.
What then is to be made of this human condition?
What of a lost and foolish species, happily, ignorantly munching and dying?
"Space is dark, it is so endless
When you're lost and so defend less
It is so big, it is so small
Why does man have to act so tall?
Is this the reason, deep in our minds..."
-Hawkwind
-MK
“Symbols the repeating of the spell over and over before one's eyes. Conflicting definitions leading to cognitive dissonance, war. To one day see the same meaning in symbols...one provable underlying system...pure individuation. And like the Phoenix bird I have been destroyed and created anew to hold high the spirit of vengeance. May we in this new year crush the lies and cause others to rise to be who they truly are.” - Bill Ward
ReplyDeleteExcellent link exploring the implications of the video courtesy of Remmic Lewis
ReplyDeletehttps://www.fuw.edu.pl/press-release/news4619.html
What a great article. These physicists have opened a new door into the quantum...measuring phase during wave is very important in being able to counter the effect of the wave. Additionally if the phase of multiple photons is the same but different than others then there is potentially a way to "fingerprint" source.
ReplyDeleteEfficiently altering photons, into "whatever we want".
ReplyDeleteWhat does "efficiently" mean? Hmm, reference to the 30% figure. Well, the ubiquitous internal combustion engine runs at about this rate of "efficiency", meaning that 70% of its energy is merely waste heat.
Low noise, is claimed. What does low noise mean? No reference given.
So science is still obsessed with building new toys for banksters and generals. Praise the animechanicalists.
I have had to invent the term animechanical, because of the persistence of mechanical and animal blinders in every aspect of modern "thought".
The toys for boys crowd will never rise above ego slavery and it's dualistic delusions.
There is light that cannot be quantified, electrified, lost, gained or altered. The fact of this light might, in the end, be the salvation of humanity.
-MK
Jack and Orage and friends,
ReplyDeleteI retired from the US feds over five years ago.
Yet at a recent new years eve party I was severely demonized for taking a pension almost like I was on Welfare. Please excuse me for getting old and a bit disabled.
Did not Hitler kill the crazy and disabled before the jews?
I was put on trial most Kangaroo style.
Of course it was a fellow American who demonized me.
Could I say he is dumb as fuck?
He asked what in the world do I do with my time.
Course, I read here and many other places and am currently on season one of Ancient Aliens.
My Christian friends say the bible is truth and the word of god so I always quote pilot who asked what is truth.
As an American I must ask what is a domestic enemy?
It seems I have become one.
Many of my Christian friends say the end is near and every thing must collapse and of course if it does we are all in the same boat.
I ask them this would it not be better to stick together no matter what?
Course that is beyond them and as MK states it is some kind of virus of the mind the major religions.
These are only opinions and probably flawed but all the news is fake so what would you expect?
Happy New Year and keep up the fine work...
Nine
KMB
ReplyDeleteThe psycho-spiritual damage inflicted on all of us, thanks to the four abrahamic branches of Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and now Scientism, is a formidable obstacle.
You can start the healing by treating proclimations uttered from any of these sources as a perspective, one perspective among many. Seen as such, much of the assumed authority is removed. Without the authority, there is no need to entertain them as anything more than opinion. Opinion might be worthwhile, or it might be worthless. Either way, you decide.
The key is to disarm the potency of the proclimation, to give yourself the gift of objectivity.
Yeah, Christians have been closing themselves in caves, whipping themselves with chains, donning hair shirts, foaming at the mouth, and entering various biblically sanctioned delusions over the impending end for thousands of years.
I don't expect their mass insanity to find a cure any time soon.
Speaking of insanity, American society, never known for admiring truth or reason is truly sinking to heretofore untrammelled depths.
The Marxist identity politics of the pervert enamored left are magnificently matched by a soaring escape from reality by the right. This will not end well.
A rabid thirst for phantom boogeymen, lies, and denial are not signs of a healthy mind.
2017 is going to see a lot of conflagration. You can run with the herd, or choose a better way. The world won't end this year, but quite a few games and delusions are going to play out.
I see things others don't, because they don't want to look. They don't see the clouds of noxious poison dumped into our skies. They don't see the vicious damage to a once sublime natural world. They think fracking is new oil, when it's just the last dregs of a squandered supply. They think the economy is in recovery, when it's about to go kaboom. They think clueless idiots make great leaders.
No, the world won't end, but that doesn't mean the waters aren't floating some very large icebergs.
-MK
It makes me feel desperately alone when the people who I love tell me all about what the government is doing after they saw it on television. These people are not stupid but there's no reasoning with them. I need you to cup your hands while I light a fire so that we don't freeze to death. That's ancient history but the memory of it makes loneliness fear inducing. When there is no place for the fear to go, and there is no flight for it, then it turns into anger. Rage spawned from terror nearly put me the grave in another life and I don't plan on a repeat. Maybe one day I will find a real live person to discuss these things with because it is true what they say about the eyes. Until then when it comes to the people around me I guess I'll have to take what I like and leave the rest. I don't have tv but it occurred to me that the old people used to say they were "looking" at it. At some point that changed to "watch." I'm not certain but I believe there is a huge difference.
ReplyDeleteLoneliness, the concept is interesting.
DeleteThere is the High Lonesome, the journey taken alone to a mountain, or glade, a place of perspective, where one seeks insight, solutions, inner calm.
Never lonely.
Modern psychology loves the term loneliness. Relishes it, together with other pet terms that signify some vague unease. Overpopulated as it by Jews and crypto Jews who project their own institutionalized dementia upon the human psyche, psychology outside of Jung is a vast exercise in folly.
What is really meant by lonely, is a misapplication by the immature ego. It is a breathless search outside for what must begin within.
Expectations, those starry eyed notions fed to the innocent, built up through the myths and lies of movies, music, and popular entertainment are so often at the core of loneliness. We imagine that perfect other, forgetting that this quest is on a spiritual level, and that desire so often leads somewhere else besides bliss.
In loneliness we focus on what we think we need, but rarely consider what we give.
We are lost in a fantasy of separation and waste, where memory and soundness of mind are the price of incarnation. Staring through the emptiness of a faded world with broken senses, we long to escape the dreary animechanical motions of existence.
This is the blessing and the curse of Irmin Abraxas...
Loneliness is most interesting, especially since none of us are ever truly alone.
MK
Thanks MK.
ReplyDeleteI think the desperation I felt came from isolation and grief rather than loneliness. It's a con isn't it? Just like everything else.
It's a stupid empty word like happiness.
I feel better today and they are calling for snow.
Tara
This whole reality has devolved into a con, Tara.
DeleteYour pain is real, but just about everything else is a hoax perped on you by shitheads whose only saving grace is that their twisted corpses are going to rot away into the insensible.
You don't want to follow them, that's why you're here.
-MK
Tara I am sorry to have to be the first one to tell you and everybody else who still does not understand yet but Orage and I have not been kidding. Do you think we get our information from Kerry Cassidy? We are living in a post apocalyptic world. Did you really think you were going to see the freeways hopelessly snarled with rusted automotive hulks, burned out cities and shuffling ghouls clamoring for brains on Main Street? Does Hollywood ever get it right Tara? They like their cities and they like fresh young flesh, we all do. You are 90% bacteria 10% flesh. They figured out a way to control that bacteria therefore the flesh and they never even considered the ramifications of their transhuman agenda to the soul. Oh the Serratia marcescens leaves just enough, just enough for them to feed (‘they’ are vampires but again Hollywood got that wrong too, they don’t drink blood they drink your life force. That’s why you don’t live for thousands of years like the Sumerians and those before them did). But its host has no free will and apparently, the best scientists have all tried, never will again. They are the walking dead, the Zombie ants Orage and I wrote about, those you profess to love. And if you think they are not stupid then you just try explaining something to them that is outside of the box, outside of their programming which comes from the main stream media and their work environment. Just try telling them that angry 7/11 attendants did not take out half of lower Manhattan and a piece of the Pentagon or even something simple like you cannot lop off a human head with a rubber knife or that people scream and carry on just like a stuck pig (where do you think the term comes from?) till they expire from blood loss after you shoot or stab them. They will begin to sweat and grow inexplicably angry; if you persist you will be verbally accosted and quite possibly physically attacked as well.
ReplyDeleteWe are all infected with Mycoplasma, the Serratia marcescens can control the Mycoplasma like it can every other bacteria through Quorum sensing and they control the Serratia marcescens through nano technology. There you have it a “living” Zombie that can even be made to exude fear, their favored nutritional supplement, on command. LOL, just say Isis. Joy can also be easily induced but outside of sexual orgasm I don’t think they imbibe much of that. Judging from what I overhear of FOX you can try saying Donald Trump. The Pseudomonas and the Bacillus (time release) are used in the delivery. We laid it all out for you in a very neat little package. Take a walk through Walmarts and take a look at the freaks or go to your local emergency room and ask the nurses, if you can find one who isn’t trying to catch their breath, how business has been. Everyone is sick Tara. That is what Mycoplasma does, with a little help from its friends Mycoplasma fermentens causes AIDS. Mycoplasma is a hundred times smaller than all other bacteria. It goes right through the bacteria filters in the most state of the art labs. It collects in joints and causes Fibromyalgia or “ Lupus,” in the intestines Chrones disease and infections that emergency room physicians misdiagnoses, such as Diverticulitis just like they did with me (coincidentally right after I published the details of what I am saying now http://www.veteranstoday.com/2016/03/13/the-blood-of-christ-hemorrhagic-fever-expendable-humans-and-bacteria-gone-bezerk-paint-it-blue/ ) because they refuse to test for it. Mycoplasma when it runs wild is the cause of Morgellons disease. It also customizes DNA Tara which was its raison d'être in the first place for the fearless leaders of the human race when they created it but you, through a mitochondrial quirk, are immune to that particular pitfall, I mean becoming a fucking zombie....
DeleteAs a Dine shaman once told me “the original DNA of the Sun cannot be mutated.” We are a very select group Tara, maybe 5%, all in the same meatbags but with very different souls, brought together in this post apocalyptic inversion of a world, we all have scores we must settle and we are all all alone…
Well done! Simple explanation to the entire situation we find ourselves in. If we kill myco we destroy any vestige of humanity, unless we have the strength of soul to maintain the meatbag, or of course, we take ourselves home when all is destroyed. Apparently since it is post apocalypse with full infection there is no saving any of it other than the experience for the next timeline visitation. Bill
ReplyDeleteJheart,
ReplyDeleteIt may have been something like an inoculation rather than a quirk. I can't be sure of anything, but I have "memories." Please allow me to apologize in advance for ignorance or even insensitivity that could be offensive. With that said may I be so bold as to offer my sorrow for your exposure to the bloody "savior." I was spared that avenue during my indoctrination. I haven't been able to absorb everything here but my hope is that I will be allowed to be included because at present I am convinced that this is the end of the line for me. I am childlike so please bear with me. If I am a game piece I want to win. For me winning means no one gets left behind. Again, I have a tendency to be idealistic and unrealistic.
MK,
Thank you. I don't think I would have had the courage if not for your penchant for elegance.
Hi Bill,
I hope it's ok if I don't call mine a "meatbag."
Love/Light and gratitude,
Tara
very informative I must say. I don't know why but I have a strong feeling I'm here to observe or witness something vs the settling of accounts. I'd like to "opt out" and withdraw my consent. More to me then just being a "meatbag" at least I'm hoping so.
ReplyDeleteMeatbags...hahaha!
ReplyDeleteWhat could be a better appellation for a species famous for its renowned delusions and self aggrandizing arrogance?
Ah, but even meatbag falls short.
Recall the ancient song, that we were insensate refuse washed ashore from the vast sea, given heat, vitality, and inspiration. None of this was latent in the refuse, it was given freely by the Gods.
Gods?
Yes, by those Divine, Archetypal, Luminous Mysteries that violate the fantasies of the arrogant meatbag.
Thus, the rulers beheld the reflection, the glimpse of the divine realms, and they sought to fashion a facsimile. Thus they made the homes for the dancing fleeting light, but it was empty, without vitality until infused with the very Light of the Goddess, our true mother.
So, we are hardly autonomous towering God's deserving of our institutionalized self justifying worship. "We", in fact, owe our existence to a symbiosis, a work of replication, a act of divine intent among many divine acts. We are the sum of a reflection, a poor stepsister to a better harmonic.
We have been herded, defiled, chained, abused, over and over again. Subject to unspeakable horrors, tortured by the vindictive derangement of nihilistic dictators and perverted psychopaths.
We are the mystery that is never solved.
We are the shifting sands.
We are the potential so often squandered.
We are evil.
We are the highest good.
We are the contradiction and the conundrum.
Oh, and we are the meatbag.
-MK
Jack Orage MK and friends,
ReplyDeleteI would say let there be light.
Let then shut off the internet or that alternative media in particular. Course they won't do it will they...
I love Netflix.
They have a show called Z Nation about zombies gone wild.
They have a term for those you love who are infected with that wild zombie virus. Its called giving mercy.
You shoot them in the head and destroy that neo-cortex so that body can not run wild anymore.
I give you mercy. Bang!
No second thoughts.
They were gone long ago.
Of course I am crazy yet I did not say it Netflix did and so what do we do with friends and family? You show mercy by ignoring them and doing whats right if you can.
Forgive them for they no not what they do he once said.
Sin or biology?
I do not fully understand our enemy.
However, leaving ones social network in my opinion is the wrong tactic and the internet is not real society.
My Christian friends say we are truth and I always quote Pilot "What is truth"..
thanx
Nine
I just read Gordon Duff’s latest piece alleging sexual improprieties on the part of the Trumpster with a 13 year old girl. Shocking …but I was struck by the fact that most of those commenting on the piece should be given Mercy Z Nation style. A bullet in the brain sounds just about right. The ecclesiastic fervor displayed for a Hollywood actor playing the role of a rich pig who needs skewering is symptomatic of the bacterial infection that has been used so effectively by the Catholic Church to steal the soul of Europe in Mass of Bolsena type scenarios for a thousand years. I think it’s the pageantry that is the catalyst of the attachment to the object, once a product of the Mass and now replaced by oscillating the frequencies of FOX broadcasts. They do the same thing for the democrats on CNN, entrain what little they have left of brains that is. The bacterium does the rest. How else do you explain those very strange people in the street fervently declaring their undying fealty to…Hillary Clinton? That is apparently how Serratia marcescens operates; it makes its host dependant on whatever produces the environment it requires, which was the filth and squalor of medieval Europe provided by Christianity, now replaced by the filth and squalor of the industrial age provided by Mikes Scientism. Speaking of Scientists they already know this is how gut bacteria works in human beings. But this Serratia marcescens, the new one that is now even capable of sporulation, got nuked repeatedly by Blome and the Germans in WW II and became something else. Something that wants to get nuked again and Zombie America seems only too willing to provide for its bacterial master with its WW III or bust foreign policy. If the living keep taking their cues from the dead they will join them soon enough, maybe you will all realize just how far gone your loved ones are when they shuffle after you in the street demanding to eat your body and drink your blood…
DeleteJack,
ReplyDelete"Tara which was its raison d'être in the first place for the fearless leaders of the human race when they created it but you, through a mitochondrial quirk, are immune to that particular pitfall, I mean becoming a fucking zombie...."
they are doomed Jack...
Nine
Nine,
ReplyDeleteI can't share your passion for zombies. All I see is... the same sick minds, the same worn out fantasies of a terminal control complex, the same desire to normalize corruption and nihilism.
The abbreviated human lifespan is better filled with sitting in the sunshine during those rare chemtrail free days, reading an actual book written by a genuine author, or zeroing your weapon at your fighting distance, to name a few.
This society is corroding away, invariably making the wrong choices, eagerly throwing the best under the bus to prop up the worst.
You won't like this, but Trump is actually right about a few things, certainly no mass of people will survive long if they can't make what they need. It's not the Russians oafishly determined to start a nuclear war, and Obamacare is nothing but a very expensive corporate welfare package that will fail spectacularly, like everything Mr peace prize has done.
The only cure to the terminal lack of reality today is removing the sickness from one's proximity. This means throwing those fucking abrahamic mind warpers out the goddam window. If you don't think they're bringing you vapid, content free toxins in your zombie flicks, then you are not paying attention.
MK
I could be a zombie in need of the mercy because I hope, and fervently. MK, sometimes you remind me of Will Farrell as W. talking about Obama, "He seems like a smart guy. . . When he talks it's like hot butterscotch pudding washing all over you. It's like don't stop." Dig the stepsister reference. You got to watch those trifling bitches cause they'll steal your "get a man school shoes" and jump in your grave if you aren't quick.
ReplyDeleteI wonder of those luminous mysteries know some cats who go by the handle Light Walkers. I think I saw their Visa card once but it only said L Walker so I couldn't be sure at the time. Maybe, they are some cousins who made good and left the drudgery and brutality of the farm only to become homesick from time to time. Maybe they help the kin out if they can.
That's why they make seroquel, Tara. I guess.
I heard they also have a show on Netflix about telepaths these days. It must have been 20 years ago when I tried aol instant messenger. I remember thinking that mankind built it in aspiration or imitation of telepathic ability. Then my girl blew me away when she said it was probably so that we could accept it, less fearfully, and more readily when in fact we didn't need the machines to do it any longer. In that way they would serve in part to facilitate the suspension of our disbelief. I was like, well I'll be damned. That sounds about right.
I've got a bunch of photographs of those lines in the sky. I asked some people once if they saw them and said that I thought the government was doing it to control the weather or something. One of the women, who happens to be a psychologist, said it sounded paranoid. I was a little pissed but I figured I was asking for it. Cinderellas are afforded some luxury if only that not much is expected of them.
Sometimes, I look around at the beauty of it all and I'm convinced I'm in heaven only to wonder if I'm not in hell five minutes later. Lately, when I'm alone on one of these roads I've wondered if I'm not really, for real, alone and if the reality that I perceive is nothing more than some construct of my own mind. Yikes.
Next go round I will be a princess, dammit, but I want a knight, not a prince. I always did go for the alphas.
Tara
Well, Tara has certainly undergone a major personality shift! Who'd a thunk it?
ReplyDeleteHa!
Light masters, Knights and cats sure got me smiling...
More later
-MK
Jack,
ReplyDeleteMy time with the Feds was defined by this overriding belief that family was everything.
I looked many a boss in the eye and I mean directly I will kill you in person if you harm my family.
do what you want with me
The relationship was so simple and we got on famously.
Then I retired and low and behold the same folks run the internet not here of course but you do know what I mean.
Its best for little folks such as myself to ignore duff and get on with things.
His site is about government folks and those inside it that can do something about its many problems.
The solution to humanities problems is way outside of government.
thanx Jack
you are a fine human
Nine
Jack,
ReplyDeletethanx so much for the freedom to write.
My therapist said I should write.
She says that those who write need a therapist and that I am way more whole than many of them of course that is up for debate.
"The only cure to the terminal lack of reality today is removing the sickness from one's proximity. This means throwing those fucking abrahamic mind warpers out the goddam window. If you don't think they're bringing you vapid, content free toxins in your zombie flicks, then you are not paying attention."
I totally disagree. I have many Jewish friends who are abhorred with what is going on in the Middle East.
My problem is I suspect is that I pay to much attention.
I still attend church. I will continue to do so.
Very useful social contacts.
The Bible is BS but contains many truths.
Just like Ancient Aliens or all the UFO stuff.
Course only an opinion from an old washed up guy...
thanx
Nine
The persistent spraying of the atmosphere defies rational explanation because it is not rational. No normal human being can conceive of intentionally toxifying the biosphere, but the logic behind this decades old intensive program is the logic of enslaved minds. Similarly, there is a logic to holding drills, and then having the media treat it as a genuine attack. It isn't a healthy or robust logic, but folks should have figured out by now that it was never intended to be, and anything redeemable was written out of the script a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteJack Heart brings you news of a biological agent that makes you exactly the kind of person who embraces fantasy terrorism, atmospheric spraying, and nuclear war.
I have spent many years exposing the death and mind control cult of the four legacies of Abraham. These too have their logic, it is similar to the logic of the parasite.
In fact, if we examine the logic of the shitheads, the logic of fantasy terrorism, spraying, and the four abrahamic pathogens all dovetail quite seamlessly together.
There are several elements to this, but the use of trauma, shock, intentional damage is one of the salient features.
Contrast all this to the natural world. Despite it's penchant for endlessly eating and digesting itself, the natural world actually encourages the dance of the vital force. The effort to stupify, simplify, and sterilize uses some natural elements, and rearranged them into an order that is impeding, interfering, and obstructing the natural flow of the vital force. One might even say that the centerpiece of the current logic of control relies upon a devastating negation of the extant cosmos.
With this in mind, I think it should be obvious that tiny tweaks, slight changes of direction, and subtle influences are hardly significant solutions for a drastically shrinking sanity.
The question thus arises, as it always does, well what is one to do?!?!???
My response is simple, nothing.
There is absolutely nothing to be done about it at all.
It is in fact the absolutely wrong question.
The question to ask has nothing to do with the fucked up shitheads at all.
It has everything to do with how you will spend whatever is left of your abbreviated lifespan; do I want to remove the fangs from my consciousness, from my life force, remember myself, and return to a soundness of mind?
Only you know the answer.
-MK
Jack Orage MK and friends
ReplyDeleteMy therapist said I should write.
She says I have one of the worst cases of PTSD she has ever seen.
Course I leave stuff like that to the professionals.
Crazy is as crazy does.
this is for jack
she said I should write poetry
course its terrible
freedom is terrible
"Jack Heart says we have a virus and its fatal
all die in the end
this virus allows another to feed upon us
another life form he saw in person
should I believe him and so I shall
what are these things and who is my enemy not my fellow zombie human if not bothering me
I must study that enemy
learn his ways and in the end we shall overcome
it seems no peace can come with this enemy
this might be truth
the first step to survive the apocalypse is to see we are in one
I once was in a labor union
strong together and weak once divided
we called it solidarity "
just a poem to try to process the information
thank you for that freedom..
thanx
Nine
I think I remember the labor union, I might have busted it up if I recall correctly but as S. E. Hinton once said “That Was Then, This Is Now…”
DeleteI have been lied too since the day I was born, so I have now taken it upon myself to tell the truth and only the truth. I don’t have time to waste on anything else and neither do any of you…
Nine,
ReplyDeleteFuck understanding the enemy. The enemy for you is your depression and your PTSD. That's coming from someone who has been pinned and tranquilized more times than I like to count. If it likes fear it's gotten a boat load from me and my damn family while they looked at that action. I'm sick of it. Fuck it though. Bring it. They lied. Yes, they lied. They lied like rugs. I paid a price not to believe it. I paid it and I'll pay some more. I'll pay and I'll be happy to pay. I'll pay in compassion for it and even the psychopaths I've known. I'm sick of it. To hell with the zombies. That is where they want to be. I won't let them make me hate them because that's what they want.
I accept it, MK. I do. When it gets really bad, when it gets ready to rip a hole in my mind, I kneel. I kneel down and I search for it. I ask what I'm now referring to as "source" (thanks Bill Ward) for the strength to accept it. I accept it. I accept my fate and I'm grateful for everything I've ever seen and done and lived through so that I could be right here at this moment. (that's at my best) It helps me if I kneel. When it gets really bad because "I don't kneel down to another human being but I have to kneel down to something" RK. I kneel. I accept my fate, then I get back up and I to try to trust something. I beat mine back with compassion. The first one I have to have compassion for is myself. In that way, I can have compassion for another. I'm not going to martyr myself over it but I'll do what I can if I can and that is it.
Those light walkers are real. That guy who called me back from the mufon believed me. That was close to 7 years ago. I'm having trouble accepting that I'm all alone. That is part of my problem so I'm not so brave. I'll go out there and have communion with other humans. I don't care what they believe about what. I'm not going to try to scare them. I'd rather understand rather than be understood. That is tall order but it's the best way to go. That's just me. I can't talk for anyone else. I don't like what's happening either but I don't know what else to do.
I know what trauma does to people. Everyone doesn't have the same capacity for it. It gives me all I can handle and a little bit more sometimes. I'm not terrified right this moment. I know you all are there. I know everything is going to right itself. Then again, I'm a zero. I'm a fool. I'm a fool sometimes but other times I believe I'm the magician. I've seen the results. Thank you for letting me express myself here. I appreciate it.
I'm really tired.
Tara
Well, Tara...I accept that half my comments here vanish never to appear, but if I persist, those great internet shitheads eventually let one through.
ReplyDeleteI accept that few know any truth, and fewer care if you know any truth.
Best of all, I accept that I am anything but an immutable indivisible creation of a psychotic Jewish God.
A great mystic once said that it is only through the purification of our deepest, darkest centers that we gain the power to see clearer, and she spoke the truth.
No one who has gone through any of this will sugar coat it. It is painful, difficult work, like removing a deep splinter, scrubbing the soot out a chimney, this facing of deep primeval adversaries.
You can turn your pain into purification, or you can just be in pain.
Turning it into purification balances pain with insight and wonder. At times it even removes the pain, transforming everything during this time.
Existing in pain without purification is just fucking Hell with no end.
Which will you choose?
-MK
Hi MK,
ReplyDeleteI apologize because I went a little cray, cray there for a sec but I was concerned about Nine. There are a lot of people offing themselves. That's not a joke. Keep in mind I don't know much about anything but if these monsters feed off of low energy then it stands to reason that suicide is their truffle. These ptsd people are dying off in droves. Have you ever read about that illness. It's hard to treat and it's scary as hell.
Every time I wrote a comment on that little bitty phone screen and tried to publish it anonymously it erased it. I was getting a little aggravated and even paranoid but with all respect, purification? Give me a break. You don't know me. No offense man and I know you're trying to help me out and the inflection in your voice is missing on this screen but watch not to patronize. That's all I'm saying.
As soon as I got my comment to post I saw the interview and I listened to it. Now I'm not so confused. I'm good. I'm cool. Thank you for getting for getting my back. You said "that's why you're here." That meant a lot to me. Sometimes people take a lot of steps forward and a couple back. When I get too grief stricken then I may get angry and then I may start crying and then I may get loco. That's just me. I don't do fakebook. I go on twit sometimes but I'm not in the net that much so when I do I take it pretty serious. It's actually like I take it just like a regular human interaction and I like to feel you know like, "she's a goodfella, she's one of us." (I saw that in a movie about gangsters.) Yes, I know it is a deflection from the real ones but it fits what I am saying. And, I shouldn't speak for everyone but sometimes I want to think I have some peoples. If that makes me weak and stupid then I'll plead to it.
I'm going to comment on that interview next and I hope you are having a really great day. The sun is shinning and I don't want to miss it.
Tara
Yeah, purification.
DeleteOr if you prefer, individuation.
Or maybe you like recapitulation.
I keep forgetting that people don't like it when I offer them a method for dealing with the deep self. In fact, I tend to forget they don't like what I have to say at all. Funny, people dwell in misery, but they resent anyone who has found their way out of much of it, who dares to present some of that path. Then people wonder why I'm not a humanist...well Fuck it.
This post was supposed to be about light.
Go read about the Templars. Whose tradition did they embody? Why the equal armed cross. Go research the Atbash cipher. Do it yourself.
There is too much to do, too much that must be fulfilled, to waste time on reruns of first grade.
I'll ask you a last question, If you are the lens through which you perceive the world, don't you think that lens should be as clean as you can get it?
If so, how is one to clean it?
Glass cleaner?!?
-MK
I knew a man forever ago. A lot of good people probably would have thought he was less than nothing had they known him like I did but to me he was everything. He feared nothing and no one. If another man tried to tell him his business he would say, “You got a lotta heart.”
ReplyDeleteOne of my many flaws is that I have a tendency to assume that other people understand my nuances when there is no way they could.
I should be dead many times over and the probability that I could ever get to a place that resembles sanity is very low. It took a lot of excruciating and painstaking work to arrive at this place. Most of the time my demons leave me in peace. Sometimes they wave to me just to remind me that they still love me.
They say that those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. I don’t mind.
What this post says to me is, “You have been lied to so much. The people who lied to you are very cunning and powerful and cruel. I know you are weary. You should have given up long ago but you didn’t and they are not going to get away with it. In truth, they were beaten before they ever started. So take heart, you are exactly where you are supposed to be just like everyone else.”
Love=Light
Tara